From the Broken Hearted

So, I have been waiting for the right time to blog because I am just not a writer and it does not come easily for me.  I am sitting here at the computer going through a wave of emotions and tears start streaming down my face.  Now is the time to blog?  Really?  But I felt the nudge and so here I sit, blogging.  Once I read this over tomorrow, I may realize that I shouldn't be blogging, especially when I am so emotional but I always promised that I would be transparent and would write exactly what is on my mind, without holding back.  So, maybe now is the time to blog!

We have had two precious children in our care for the past 5 weeks.  We weren't planning on hosting this summer.  As a matter of fact, I even told my friend Nicole (she volunteers for the hosting program) that we were not planning on hosting.  But God had other plans for us.  When Nicole and her husband, Joe, went to the Ukraine in February, they interviewed some children at one of the orphanages for the summer hosting program.  After they interviewed Lilya and Alex, they both said that they thought those children would be perfect for us.  So, even though they knew we didn't want to host, she still emailed me a photo and profile of these children.  She is stubborn, ya know!  And thank God she is!!  So, Danny and I prayed about it and we realized that He wanted us to host these kids.  I am so glad that we listened.  Had we not listened to Him, we would have missed out!  Oh the things we would have missed out on!!!

We would have missed out on hugs, kisses, "I love you's", attitudes, silliness, playing UNO and Jenga, watching "Pink Panther" 500 times, riding bikes, picky eaters, a noisy house, a big hole in our backyard, a cookie baking partner, 16 hours at the dentist and eye doctor, lots of appreciation and so much more that I can't even begin to write it all out.

Now, I sit here with less than 30 hours before these children get on a plane and head back to the Ukraine.  To a place where they are going to lay their head down on a bed with a crappy mattress in a room with many other children and will probably cry themselves to sleep for the first week or so.  They won't have anyone to tuck them in and tell them it's going to be OK.  They won't get much to eat and most definitely won't get the nutrition that they need so desperately for their growing bodies.  They won't get to ask for seconds and they won't get to have an apple every day.  They might get beat up, they might get teased and they won't have a mom or dad their to protect them.  They might get their toys taken away by the older kids.  They will have to wash their underwear in the sink and wear the same outfit for an entire week (or more).

Could you just picture your child in this situation?  Just for a minute....imagine your child crying themselves to sleep in an orphanage because they miss you so much.  Imagine your child only getting bread and butter for breakfast (maybe porridge on a good day), watered down potato soup for lunch and bread and butter for dinner.  Imagine your child not being able to change his clothes every day and having to wash his underwear in the sink.  Imagine having to put him on a plane to go all the way to the other side of the world to live in those conditions.  Just imagine.  I don't have to imagine because that will be a reality for me in less than 30 hours.  My son clung to me tonight sobbing and saying "Mama, no Ukraine" over and over again...."Mama, Alex No Ukraine, please".  And all I could do was to hold him and cry, too.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.  James 1:27

I can't get the paperwork for this adoption done fast enough because if it were up to me, we would be going back to Ukraine with them on Thursday.  I just pray that the next 4 or 5 months don't feel like 4 or 5 years and that we will be rejoicing before you know it!!  And I have to remember that while I consider these my children......they really aren't mine at all........they are God's children and I may just have the privilege of caring for them.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

Will you please pray for us because these next two days are going to be very hard for us.  We are going to send our children back to a place that is a place I wouldn't send my worst enemy!  My heart is going to be ripped out of my chest.  I can't even explain what I am feeling right now....I am just sitting here typing through a stream of tears.  However, through all of this, I know I need to lean on my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.  Psalm 34: 17-20 

Will you also consider donating to help us reach our goal of bringing Alex and Lilya home by the end of the year?  It is a very aggressive goal that we have been told is nearly impossible but something tells me that nothing is impossible with God.

For nothing is impossible with God.  Luke 1:37

http://www.eliproject.org/families-in-process/the-mclaughlin-family/

Dynamics of a Family

Wow!  I've been in my little bubble of a family of three, with one child, for 10 years now.  Let me tell you that the dynamics of a family changes drastically when you triple your child count.  Hmmm, what if you wake up tomorrow with 6 kids? 9 kids? 12 kids?  What would that look like for your family?  OK, some of my friends already have 6, 9 or 12 kids but for some of us, that would be a really big deal!  For our family, much has changed.  We go through almost an entire jug of orange juice in one sitting.  We run the dishwasher daily.  We go through almost a dozen eggs at breakfast.  We buy more than one watermelon at a time (see the last picture).  Brushing teeth takes 3 times as long.  Showers seem never ending.  And other things changed that I just can't explain in writing.  Things such as trying to be fair (which is especially hard when we don't speak Russian), spreading our love equally, making sure everyone gets our attention, determining "who started it" etc.  Before, there were no worries about determining "who started it" because there was only one "who" that could have started it! 

We hosted last summer (twice) and this time around, it is different as night and day.  However, a lot within those two hostings prepared us for this hosting.  As much as we were heartbroken when Lidiya, Andriy and Vlad did not want to be adopted, I sort of feel like maybe, just maybe, God kinda knew what He was doing.  Gotta love when that happens!  When I am with these kids, I just feel...............complete.  They had me at "privet"!!  I honestly can't say I felt that way before.  I don't know what it is, I just know that it is different.

From the minute they got off the plane, I felt it.  They practically ran into our arms.  Alex held me so tight and did not want to let go.  They had tears in their eyes and it was such a special moment.  Even the chaperone had tears in her eyes!!  They fit into our family.  It feels natural.  Lilya has a cute personality and likes to tease and play around.  Today, we ran errands together and at the post office, she took my keys without me seeing and put them in her pocket.  When we got out to the truck, I searched frantically for them...in my purse, in my pocket, everywhere...I even start to head back into the post office to search.  She starts cracking up and pulls the keys out of her pocket and says, "Haha Mama"!!  Too funny!!!  Oh and yep, they call me "mama"!  And I love it!

Alex just melts my heart when he wakes up in the morning and says "dobroe utro" (good morning) and gives me a big hug...one where he wraps his arms all the way around me!!

I've gotten more hugs and kisses from them in the 4 days that they've been here than I got in the entire 5 weeks last summer.  They show an ability to bond.  They freely give hugs and kisses.  They are very thankful for everything they are given.  They have emotions and aren't afraid to show them.  The other day Alex was "joking" and told Coby he was fat.  When papa told him that wasn't nice, he said that he was only joking but papa told him that wasn't a funny joke.  When we got home, he went in his room and cried uncontrollably.  We called someone to help us ask him what was wrong. He said that he was sorry for saying that to Coby and that he really was a good boy. He felt really bad for what he said and this just gave us an opportunity to show grace and forgiveness!!


Colossians 3:12-13  Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 
 
I know it has only been 4 days but holy toledo (am I "allowed" to say that as a Christian?  I always wondered!!), I am in hog heaven!!!  I have a fire under my tail to get moving on this adoption because I want to go back and get them.......like......yesterday!!!!!  Tonight I asked Lilya if she liked living in the orphanage and she said, "No, who likes living there?"  I want to get them out of that place!!!  It is dark.  It is dismal.  I've been told it is one of the worst orphanages in Ukraine.  Will you please help by praying that the Lord will move in mighty ways for us to get them?  We need Him to move in the process so that it moves fast!  We need Him to provide financially....the cost is approximately $32,250 and we have a total of $1,200 available to go towards their adoption.  $1,200.  One thousand, two hundred (just in case you thought maybe I was missing a zero or put the comma in the wrong place).  We have a long ways to go but we know that the Will of God does not take you where Grace of God does not cover you.   

2 Corinthians 9:8:  And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

We truly believe that this is His will for our lives and we will go....we just need your help and most importantly, your prayers!

Here are some pictures of the kids since they have been here....

 At the airport....very special moment I will never forget!

Lilya and Papa!

Showing off their green tongues after eating snowballs

Lilya and Mama standing in front of a bunch of Lilies!!

Silly boys!!

She loves our dog!!!!

Hmmmm.....wonder who taught him this??

One watermelon would not be enough so we had to get two!