Is the waiting over yet?

I know it seems like I lack blogging much but it seems that there is so much downtime and waiting, that there isn't much to blog about.  I'm sure everyone doesn't care too much what I have for dinner every night, what I get when I go to the supermarket or what time I wake up in the morning!  I do short posts on Facebook, so if you are not following us on FB, you may want to check it out. 

We had our court date on 12/12/12.  Can you believe that?  Surely we will never forget the date we had court!  And in God's perfect timing, the date our adoption is decreed will be Christmas Day!  Again, a date we will not soon forget!

Court was a little intimidating.  There were three seats up on the "throne" that appeared to be for a King and his two advisors!  The judge sat in the middle and a "juror" sat on each side of him.  Then, off to the left, sat a representative from the local SDA, a "prosecutor" and a representative from the courts.  Also present was the director from the orphanage.

Vil'nans'k Courtroom - the "cage" on the right is where criminals sit during trial

When it was time for the director of the orphanage to speak, she said that she was pleased for us to adopt Lilya and Alex.  The kids have behaved better after coming back from hosting in America and she was surprised at how fast we came back for the kids!  

We were asked questions about why we wanted to adopt the kids, do we have enough space in our home for them, do we make enough money to support two more children, do we have any other children at home, etc.  We really weren't taken off guard by any of the questions.

Court lasted about one hour and we did have one laugh during the court session.  The judge called Danny up first and asked him a bunch of questions.  Then, he told Danny to sit down and called me up.  The first question he asked me was, "Do you know that man?" as he pointed to Danny.  Being a little on the sarcastic side, I immediately responded with, "Nope, I sure don't."  Then realized maybe that wasn't a good idea and said that I was just joking.  But thankfully everyone laughed - including the judge!  Whew!!!

The judge and the two jurors left the courtroom to "decide our case" and came back about 15 minutes later to declare that they were approving our adoption.  Glad my sarcasm didn't deter them from approving!

The next step is critically important.  It is so important, it is almost hard for me to put into words what it is.  So, I'll do my best and hopefully everyone reading will clearly understand.  Are you ready?  The next step is to wait!  Just wait.  Wait for 10 long days!  Actually, our total wait is 13 days because Sunday's don't count, the day of court doesn't count and the decree doesn't happen until day 11.  So, we just wait.  Waiting is the hardest part.  Especially when I don't have my best friend by my side.  Danny and Coby left on 12/13/12 at 3:00pm and being here by myself is so hard!!  I am hoping to go home by January 4th and if that happens, then I will be apart from Danny and Coby for 21 days.  I truly don't know how military wives do it.  And wives whose husbands work out of town and only come home on weekends.  Danny is my very best friend.  He is a part of me.  We are one.  Being without him is like missing half of myself!!!

Me and my best friend just a few hours before he left to go home

Since I am now here alone, I have kept busy Skyping with Danny.  A lot.  And I have also had the privilege to spend time with Pastor John and his lovely wife, Ev.  They are long term missionaries from Canada who have started a church in Zaporozhye and have also started a Trade School for aging out Orphans.   We have shared a few meals together and we will be spending Christmas Day with them.  It is so nice to be around them.  They are just lovely people and really doing great work for the Lord here.  They have been here 5 years and plan to be here another 5 years.
 

This is Pastor John and myself

This is Pastor John's lovely wife, Ev and myself

 Please check out what they are doing and if you feel led to help orphans but can't adopt, consider donating to their ministry.  Their ministry is New Hope Center.  Alex White is also a missionary here with New Hope Center and I will be having dinner with him and his fiance this coming week.  I might even meet with up another adoptive family adopting out of Kherson.  Before Danny left, we were able to have a meal with another family adopting out of Vil'nans'k and hopefully they will be back before I leave, so that I can see them again!

I have also enjoyed the food here in Ukraine.  I absolutely love the food here!  Here are some pictures from a restaurant that was recommended to us called Sir Lancelot.  The food was phenomenal!!!  The only downfall - no English Menu!!  So, Pastor John translated it for me.  However, I won't be able to go by myself unless I order the exact same thing.  Which wouldn't be so bad because it was delicious but I'd love to try something else since this was so good!

Ukrainian salad with cucumbers, tomatoes and red peppers with dill and olive oil.  Probably the best I've had since I've been here.  It even had just a smidgen of romaine lettuce - very rare for Ukrainian salads to have any lettuce

The rolled up things on the left was chicken breast rolled up, filled with cheese and lightly breaded.  The two dollops on each side of the dill was a baked potato smothered in cheese.  This was superb!!!!!  Beautiful presentation, perfect portions and tasted delicious!!!! 

I know why it costs so much to adopt

I have really pondered why it costs so blasted much for adoption. There are countless children out in this world that need families but the amount for the average family is unfathomable. Just as an example, the cost for our adoption is $34,000. If it was more affordable, more families would adopt.

However, today I felt The Lord speaking to my heart. I felt that he was telling me that there is a reason for the expense.

I was watching a video and reading a blog about the story of a family adopting a boy from Ukraine. They participated in the Both Hands Project in order to help fund their adoption. This project is called Both Hands because the bible is clear that we are to take care of widows AND orphans (James 1:27). So, families trying to raise funds for their adoption help a widow in need and in the meantime, money is raised to help bring the orphan home. If the need for money wasn't so unfathomable, there wouldn't be a need for the Both Hands Project. The widow wouldn't have been blessed. The volunteers wouldn't have been blessed. The family bringing home an orphan boy wouldn't have been blessed.

So, it hit me. Like.a.ton.of.bricks. The cost is exorbitant because the blessings are many. If the cost was small, the blessings would be few.

In our particular situation, I can see how blessings have poured out through this entire process. Countless people have given money, time, prayers, gifts, donations, etc. just to help bring Alex and Lilya home. All of those people have been blessed for their efforts and even more so, we have been exponentially blessed. If you care to see how many people have helped in this process, check out this post. And to be honest, I am sure I forgot quite a few people.

We have worked so hard to bring these children home, that it makes us realize the cost. It wasn't easy. We spent many, many, many hours preparing documents, getting signatures notarized (I feel like I should take my notary out to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for all her countless notarizing - way beyond what is considered normal), going to the doctor's office (three times), fundraising, waiting (a ridiculous amount of waiting), writing checks, getting documents appostiled, FedExing documents, etc. And that is all before we even started packing!

Plus, the financial aspect of this has been challenging, as well. We needed $34,000 all together for the adoption and I still don't even know how we did it. Well, we didn't. God did. Seriously! We sacrificed and saved a lot of money. We don't have cable. We cut expenses. We put our "vacation" fund towards the adoption. We didn't go to the movies. We sold a lot of things. To read the emotional goodbye to Danny's Drums, click here. But God provided the rest. It was unbelievable how it all came together.

My faith was tested. My faith grew. I was stretched in ways I didn't know I could be stretched. And I don't say that to be cliche. I truly mean that. There were days I cried. Days I prayed that The Lord would tell me what next. Days that I wanted to give up. Days that I was so excited, I thought I'd pee my pants. And then days that I said, "Okay Lord, I can't do this anymore!!!" But in all of it, I was blessed. Beyond measure!!! And if all the people that helped along the way were even half as blessed as I have been, then that's a lot of blessings!

I now know why it costs so much to adopt. Just like Jesus paid a price for our freedom, we paid a price for the orphan's freedom.

What's next?

What an incredible journey so far. We arrived at the airport in Kiev on Monday around 1:00 pm. We flew through customs; which was quite opposite of what happened last year. There were a lot of people that got off the plane before us and then we went to the restroom. By the time we walked up to customs, every single booth was empty except for two booths and nobody was checking in through customs....nobody. We walked right up. They basically asked where we were coming from, where we were going and why. He then stamped our passports and we were on our way.

The next thing that happened almost seems miraculous to us. There are two lines to go through after checking in through customs.... The red line (if you have items to claim) and the green line (if you do not have anything to claim), so we walked through the green line. There was one gentleman with two small suitcases and he was stopped by customs and his bags were checked. We walked right past him with four huge suitcases, a computer bag, a purse and two backpacks (yes, we feel like we packed everything except our kitchen sink) and it was almost like God caused all the 'guards' to not even see us walking past.

We spent Tuesday afternoon walking around Kiev a bit, ate dinner at Solo Pizza and then Danny had some coffee; which he loved! We came back to our apartment exhausted! Coby went into the room to read his book and literally fell asleep reading it!

Wednesday, we all slept in! April and Danny awoke at 11am and April had to wake Coby up at noon. We ate lunch at a buffet type restaurant, went to the Roshen Chocolate Factory (yum!), went to the Apple Store (expensive!), more coffee (this is probably going to be a theme throughout my blogging), had ice cream (they were all closed last night so they must have gotten the memo that I was coming!!!!) and then for dinner went to the Shashlik Restaurant next to McD's! We actually sat Japanese style and had to take off our shoes. That was fun and the food was yummy. We spent $5.30 on ice cream, the buffet lunch was $14 and we spent $37.50 at dinner - this included tip and is actually quite expensive but oh so worth it! Besides, not too many restaurants three adults can eat at for $37.50 including tip in America.

Tomorrow is our SDA (State Department of Adoption) appt where we will get "referred" to Lilya and Alex. Not exactly sure what happens or what to expect at that appt but I will blog about it later.

Then, we have to return to the SDA on Thursday to pick up our referral and will get on an overnight 12 hour train ride to Zaporozhye. Vil'nanys'k is the small town outside of Zaporozhye where the kid's orphanage is located. Pastor John with New Hope will be picking us up from the train station Friday morning. He's a Canadian Missionary that helps aging out kids. We will definitely be spending some time helping them and are looking forward to it.

I will update more as things progress. If you think about it, please pray for us on Wednesday. Our appt is at 2pm (7am EST), we have been told once again that the kids are available - so thank you for praying already! We'll update again tomorrow!

Rest for my weary soul

I am so blessed.  I say that often and I don't mean it to be cliché....I truly, truly feel blessed.  The Lord has blessed us beyond measure.  Even during the battle, He has blessed us.  Actually....it's during the battle that I feel the most blessed. Why?  Well, because that's when I see Him do the most work!!!  When Danny and I are walking through the fire, that is when we can see the hand of the Lord God Almighty at work most in our lives.  I've looked back through the times when we has allowed us to walk around the fire and realize that we were not nearly as blessed as the times when we had to walk through the fire.  

This is no exception.  Adoption is not for those who want to walk around the fire.  It just isn't.  Especially if you are adopting from the same Eastern European Country that we are.  It is unbelievably hard.  It is challenging on my faith.  I have cried out many times to God "WHY Lord God....WHY?!?"  However, if I had to do it all over again......I wouldn't change a thing.  While it challenges my faith, it also strengthens my faith beyond what I would have possibly imagined!  I love seeing the Lord answer prayers.  Even when the answer is "no".  And we are never promised that we will find out why the Lord chooses to say no but when we do find out why.....oh, it is splendid!!!!!  We have had the joys in this adoption journey of hearing the Lord say "no" and then realizing later that His 'no' was very good!!!  Love when that happens!!!!

 

We have been waiting and waiting for a travel date.  The dossier process that started on August 1st has made me weary.  I am tired.  There are times when I am cranky.  I have cried many tears.  I have just felt the need for a nap and didn't wake for 3 hours.  When our dossier was submitted, I thought to myself, "whew....glad that's over.  Now, I can rest".  Ummmmm...yeah right!  Sometimes just the waiting part alone doesn't allow you to rest.  On top of that, all the things that must be done....especially as a business owner.  Oh my, the things we have had to do.  But....but....but....the hardest part.....has been the wait.  The unknown.  And now.....we know.  Now, I feel that I may have some rest for my weary soul!!  Of course, the only true rest for our weary souls is found in Christ!!!

So, the answer everyone has probably been waiting for......our SDA Appointment will be on November 19!!!!  We will be booking our airline ticket soon and should be leaving on Friday, November 16.  We will get to bring our kids home!!!!  We may not be home before Christmas but that matters not because we will still celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!  Even if it means celebrating apart and then celebrating again once we reunite!  I will keep the blog updated while I am gone and will post lots of pictures.

The biggest issue between now and November 16th is the fact that we are still shy from being funded.  Will you prayerfully consider how you can help?  I have said it many, many times but I really hope that if you are reading this and thinking "but I don't have much to give"....that is OK!!  Every bit helps.  Every dollar.  Some can only give $20 and that is a stretch for them.  Others can give $100 and that is a stretch for them.  If you can give anything...anything at all, will you please give?  Please be in prayer and consider how you can help.  If you have already given.......THANK YOU!!!  

I don't care about your comfort

That just sounds so harsh and by all means, it might very well be.  That is, if you don't understand the context by which those words are written.  Our comfort is not guaranteed.  We see several examples of this in the bible as Christ followers were persecuted.  Paul was thrown in jail.  John the Baptist was beheaded.  Stephen was stoned.

However, the one thing that the Lord cares about is our character.  How will I react under pressure?  How will I react when others persecute me?  What will I do when nobody is around?

How does this all relate to adoption?  Well.....it does because my biggest concern when adopting children is how we can build their character.  I don't care to buy them lots of toys.  I don't care to take them on extravagant vacations.  As a matter of fact, even if we were to end up homeless and living in a homeless shelter....they will have more than they do now!  I want to train my children up in the way of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6)....I want them to grow up to be men and women on fire for God.  I want them to care more about how they can live for God than to worry about what college they will attend.

We have one precious child living at home with us right now.  He has grown up so far to be a child with great character.  He wants to do what is right.  He wants others around him to do what is right.  He chooses to make the right decisions and is even learning to make tough decisions that are unpopular because he knows they are the right decisions.  One example is recently his friends were talking about girls and dating.  He spoke up and said, "I won't date until I am at least 18 years old and then it will only be to find my wife".  He said that to his peers....without even thinking about what they would think of him.  I care what his peers think of him because I love him and I do not want him to be teased, like I was growing up.  However, on the other hand, I really don't care what his peers think about him because all that matters in the end is what God thinks about him. 

We have two precious children in an Eastern European Country that we want to bring home and raise up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).  We want them to Love the Lord their God with all their heart, all their soul, all their strength and all their mind (Luke 10:27).  That is the most important.  They are in an orphanage where the popular thing to do is to pick on the younger children.  To tease them.  To beat them up.  To smoke.  To have sex.  The easiest thing to do in this situation is for them to "fit in" to avoid the consequences of being teased and more importantly to avoid being beat up.  However, as much as I do not want those things to happen to my children, choosing the narrow road and saying "no" to teasing others, sex and smoking is the right decision....even if in the end it means that they might not be so popular!  So, my dear children......I don't care about your comfort.  I care about your character.  I care about your eternity. This is all because I love you.  Because God Loves you!

I don't believe in coincidences

Straight out of the chute, I know some people will think I'm crazy.  Maybe I've lost my marbles.  Or maybe I'm one french fry short of a Happy Meal.  That's OK because I believe that the Lord can speak to us in ALL things...we can't just put God in a box.  We can't just say that God only speaks to us through His Word.  Although, I do believe that when He does speak to us, it will never go against His Word!  Here's why I say this:

For the past long while I have randomly looked at the clock when it is 11:11.  And it doesn't just happen once in a while....it happens all of the time.  Sometimes not even just when I look at the clock to see what time it is....sometimes I will just happen to glance at the clock for no reason at all and see that it is 11:11.  It got to the point where in July of 2011, I wrote down every verse in the Bible that was 11:11 to see if maybe I could find something that the Lord was trying to tell me.  Nothing really stood out.  If Danny was around I would say, "guess what time it is" and he would respond with, "gee, let me guess....11:11".  For a short while, it stopped.  Then, all of a sudden it started again.  And when it starts....it happens so frequently, that it is almost scary!

I saw someone post on their FB page the other day that she looked at the clock and saw that it was 11:11 and heard that means you are supposed to make a wish.  Other people replied with what they heard that means.  I don't believe in superstitious things because I don't believe in "chance happenings", "coincidences" or "magic".  But I do believe that the Lord can use anything to get our attention or speak to us.

So now that brings us to the day we drop the kids off at the airport.  Aug 2, 2012.  A very sad day in the McLaughlin family!  Just sayin'.  Anyhow, we are sitting in the car talking when Danny asks me if the kids get to keep their passports.  A very random question but let's go with it.  So, I tell him that yes, I believe they do get to keep them and he asks me how I know.  Well, I just happened to take a picture of their passports before they left and I showed him the picture and I said, "Well, the reason I think this is because their passports were issued in November of last year.  So, I can only assume that if they've had them for this long, that they will keep them until they expire".  Then, I showed him the picture and I said, "See, they were issued 11 Nov 2011".  Danny replied, "You've got to be kidding?"  I said, "What?"  He said, "11 11"! Wow, I didn't even catch that!!  And had I not taken a picture of their passports, I would have not shown Danny and we would not have realized that their passports were issued on the 11th day of the 11th month in 2011.  WOW!!!  I really do not believe that is a coincidence.  Not one bit.  For over a year, I've been seeing the time as 11:11 and now I find out that the kids we want to adopt had their passports issued on 11/11/2011.  I have prayed that the Lord would reveal to me what 11:11 means and I do believe what He is trying to tell us is that He's got this thing.  Because you see.......when Danny and I were in the car talking, we were sad, very heartbroken and longing for the day we get to bring the kids home again.  When we realized the kids passports were issued on 11/11, it gave us this overwhelming peace.

Philippians 4:7  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

That's what we got....a peace that transcends ALL understanding!!!  Because most people wouldn't understand.  Instead, they will think I am crazy.  They will think I'm off my rocker.  Maybe that I'm not playing with a full deck.  That's ok...think what you want....I completely understand that you may not understand because I was there once.  

From the Broken Hearted

So, I have been waiting for the right time to blog because I am just not a writer and it does not come easily for me.  I am sitting here at the computer going through a wave of emotions and tears start streaming down my face.  Now is the time to blog?  Really?  But I felt the nudge and so here I sit, blogging.  Once I read this over tomorrow, I may realize that I shouldn't be blogging, especially when I am so emotional but I always promised that I would be transparent and would write exactly what is on my mind, without holding back.  So, maybe now is the time to blog!

We have had two precious children in our care for the past 5 weeks.  We weren't planning on hosting this summer.  As a matter of fact, I even told my friend Nicole (she volunteers for the hosting program) that we were not planning on hosting.  But God had other plans for us.  When Nicole and her husband, Joe, went to the Ukraine in February, they interviewed some children at one of the orphanages for the summer hosting program.  After they interviewed Lilya and Alex, they both said that they thought those children would be perfect for us.  So, even though they knew we didn't want to host, she still emailed me a photo and profile of these children.  She is stubborn, ya know!  And thank God she is!!  So, Danny and I prayed about it and we realized that He wanted us to host these kids.  I am so glad that we listened.  Had we not listened to Him, we would have missed out!  Oh the things we would have missed out on!!!

We would have missed out on hugs, kisses, "I love you's", attitudes, silliness, playing UNO and Jenga, watching "Pink Panther" 500 times, riding bikes, picky eaters, a noisy house, a big hole in our backyard, a cookie baking partner, 16 hours at the dentist and eye doctor, lots of appreciation and so much more that I can't even begin to write it all out.

Now, I sit here with less than 30 hours before these children get on a plane and head back to the Ukraine.  To a place where they are going to lay their head down on a bed with a crappy mattress in a room with many other children and will probably cry themselves to sleep for the first week or so.  They won't have anyone to tuck them in and tell them it's going to be OK.  They won't get much to eat and most definitely won't get the nutrition that they need so desperately for their growing bodies.  They won't get to ask for seconds and they won't get to have an apple every day.  They might get beat up, they might get teased and they won't have a mom or dad their to protect them.  They might get their toys taken away by the older kids.  They will have to wash their underwear in the sink and wear the same outfit for an entire week (or more).

Could you just picture your child in this situation?  Just for a minute....imagine your child crying themselves to sleep in an orphanage because they miss you so much.  Imagine your child only getting bread and butter for breakfast (maybe porridge on a good day), watered down potato soup for lunch and bread and butter for dinner.  Imagine your child not being able to change his clothes every day and having to wash his underwear in the sink.  Imagine having to put him on a plane to go all the way to the other side of the world to live in those conditions.  Just imagine.  I don't have to imagine because that will be a reality for me in less than 30 hours.  My son clung to me tonight sobbing and saying "Mama, no Ukraine" over and over again...."Mama, Alex No Ukraine, please".  And all I could do was to hold him and cry, too.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.  James 1:27

I can't get the paperwork for this adoption done fast enough because if it were up to me, we would be going back to Ukraine with them on Thursday.  I just pray that the next 4 or 5 months don't feel like 4 or 5 years and that we will be rejoicing before you know it!!  And I have to remember that while I consider these my children......they really aren't mine at all........they are God's children and I may just have the privilege of caring for them.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

Will you please pray for us because these next two days are going to be very hard for us.  We are going to send our children back to a place that is a place I wouldn't send my worst enemy!  My heart is going to be ripped out of my chest.  I can't even explain what I am feeling right now....I am just sitting here typing through a stream of tears.  However, through all of this, I know I need to lean on my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.  Psalm 34: 17-20 

Will you also consider donating to help us reach our goal of bringing Alex and Lilya home by the end of the year?  It is a very aggressive goal that we have been told is nearly impossible but something tells me that nothing is impossible with God.

For nothing is impossible with God.  Luke 1:37

http://www.eliproject.org/families-in-process/the-mclaughlin-family/

Dynamics of a Family

Wow!  I've been in my little bubble of a family of three, with one child, for 10 years now.  Let me tell you that the dynamics of a family changes drastically when you triple your child count.  Hmmm, what if you wake up tomorrow with 6 kids? 9 kids? 12 kids?  What would that look like for your family?  OK, some of my friends already have 6, 9 or 12 kids but for some of us, that would be a really big deal!  For our family, much has changed.  We go through almost an entire jug of orange juice in one sitting.  We run the dishwasher daily.  We go through almost a dozen eggs at breakfast.  We buy more than one watermelon at a time (see the last picture).  Brushing teeth takes 3 times as long.  Showers seem never ending.  And other things changed that I just can't explain in writing.  Things such as trying to be fair (which is especially hard when we don't speak Russian), spreading our love equally, making sure everyone gets our attention, determining "who started it" etc.  Before, there were no worries about determining "who started it" because there was only one "who" that could have started it! 

We hosted last summer (twice) and this time around, it is different as night and day.  However, a lot within those two hostings prepared us for this hosting.  As much as we were heartbroken when Lidiya, Andriy and Vlad did not want to be adopted, I sort of feel like maybe, just maybe, God kinda knew what He was doing.  Gotta love when that happens!  When I am with these kids, I just feel...............complete.  They had me at "privet"!!  I honestly can't say I felt that way before.  I don't know what it is, I just know that it is different.

From the minute they got off the plane, I felt it.  They practically ran into our arms.  Alex held me so tight and did not want to let go.  They had tears in their eyes and it was such a special moment.  Even the chaperone had tears in her eyes!!  They fit into our family.  It feels natural.  Lilya has a cute personality and likes to tease and play around.  Today, we ran errands together and at the post office, she took my keys without me seeing and put them in her pocket.  When we got out to the truck, I searched frantically for them...in my purse, in my pocket, everywhere...I even start to head back into the post office to search.  She starts cracking up and pulls the keys out of her pocket and says, "Haha Mama"!!  Too funny!!!  Oh and yep, they call me "mama"!  And I love it!

Alex just melts my heart when he wakes up in the morning and says "dobroe utro" (good morning) and gives me a big hug...one where he wraps his arms all the way around me!!

I've gotten more hugs and kisses from them in the 4 days that they've been here than I got in the entire 5 weeks last summer.  They show an ability to bond.  They freely give hugs and kisses.  They are very thankful for everything they are given.  They have emotions and aren't afraid to show them.  The other day Alex was "joking" and told Coby he was fat.  When papa told him that wasn't nice, he said that he was only joking but papa told him that wasn't a funny joke.  When we got home, he went in his room and cried uncontrollably.  We called someone to help us ask him what was wrong. He said that he was sorry for saying that to Coby and that he really was a good boy. He felt really bad for what he said and this just gave us an opportunity to show grace and forgiveness!!


Colossians 3:12-13  Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 
 
I know it has only been 4 days but holy toledo (am I "allowed" to say that as a Christian?  I always wondered!!), I am in hog heaven!!!  I have a fire under my tail to get moving on this adoption because I want to go back and get them.......like......yesterday!!!!!  Tonight I asked Lilya if she liked living in the orphanage and she said, "No, who likes living there?"  I want to get them out of that place!!!  It is dark.  It is dismal.  I've been told it is one of the worst orphanages in Ukraine.  Will you please help by praying that the Lord will move in mighty ways for us to get them?  We need Him to move in the process so that it moves fast!  We need Him to provide financially....the cost is approximately $32,250 and we have a total of $1,200 available to go towards their adoption.  $1,200.  One thousand, two hundred (just in case you thought maybe I was missing a zero or put the comma in the wrong place).  We have a long ways to go but we know that the Will of God does not take you where Grace of God does not cover you.   

2 Corinthians 9:8:  And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

We truly believe that this is His will for our lives and we will go....we just need your help and most importantly, your prayers!

Here are some pictures of the kids since they have been here....

 At the airport....very special moment I will never forget!

Lilya and Papa!

Showing off their green tongues after eating snowballs

Lilya and Mama standing in front of a bunch of Lilies!!

Silly boys!!

She loves our dog!!!!

Hmmmm.....wonder who taught him this??

One watermelon would not be enough so we had to get two!

And the story continues....

We have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the past year and a half when we started this journey of hosting / adoption.  It has not been easy but every step of the way, we feel that the Lord has grown us and strengthened our faith.  Sometimes I don't like how He strengthens my faith.  However, every time I come out the other end, I feel blessed that He even wants to strengthen my faith.  Of course, I rarely see that as I am going through it.

This was no exception.

If you have been following our journey with Lidiya and her brothers, then you know that we had our adoption agent have the translator in their region ask them if they want to be adopted.  We have been waiting on that answer since November 20th.  On December 16th, we received word that Lidiya and Vlad had been asked....Vlad said "yes, he wants a family" and Lidiya said that she would have to think about it but would give her answer in a week. We finally received the answer we had been waiting so long for.  On February 5th, our adoption agent notified us that the translator asked Lidiya and she said that she did not want to leave the Ukraine.

I prepared my heart for this answer because I knew that Lidiya was having a hard time wanting to leave her family.  I had a feeling deep inside, even though I would not have admitted it, that her answer would be no.  On February 3, I had a dear friend tell me that  she would never adopt children that had any family connection because of the potential repercussions surrounding that.  She also just shared from her heart about feeling that maybe we should stop pursuing these children because when children want something, they will most certainly let you know.  If Lidiya had to "think about it", that is a red flag.  Well....I knew all of this before she even spoke a word but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you open your eyes.  So, that just helped me to come to the conclusion that these were not the children the Lord would have for us.  However, I still was not about to give up, the Lord would have to close that door.

And He did.

So, for the last 3 weeks, we have been mourning and praying about what the Lord would have for us.  It has taken me 3 weeks to blog because we were just not ready to put into writing what we had just lost.  Danny has been greatly affected by this, his heart is broken and he has needed some time to heal.

Well, on February 20th, one of my friend's (who is in Ukraine interviewing kids for hosting) sent me an email and said that if we would consider hosting this summer, she found a great brother and sister for us.  She personally interviewed them and she said that we were the first to come to her mind....her husband agreed.  After praying about it, we have decided to move forward with hosting them.

Danny is very excited about these two children.  Although he is still mourning over Lidiya and her brothers, he is anxiously moving forward with anticipation of having these two in our home for 5 weeks this summer.  Although I did not have to mourn quite as much over the loss, I am still not totally excited yet about these kids.  I think my heart and my mind go through a different process and it will take some time before I completely warm up to the idea.  To be 100% honest, having another teenage girl in our home scares the heebie jeebies out of me!!  I was scared to have Lidiya come and it ended up turning out OK but for some reason, I am feeling the same way again about this girl.  I don't know why - I guess it goes back to that whole "I don't feel adequate" feeling.  I realize that my adequacy will come from the Lord and I will eventually relent but for right now, I am just being stubborn, I suppose.  However, I do not feel that our family is complete.  I know with all of my being that the Lord has more children for us.  I, never in a million years, would have thought that this would include older children and I most certainly never would have thought it would have included a teenage girl!!!!!!  However, I know my ways are not His ways....

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  Isaiah 55:8

So, please follow us on this journey as we take steps of obedience in taking care of the orphans.  We are not capable of doing this alone.  Thank you for being there for us.

"A" and "L"

Adopting Orphans...Waiting Upon The Lord

My heart is heavy, my patience is being tested daily, my will is being worn thin but I am constantly reminded the God is in control.  Seems contradictory, I know.  Yet, it isn't.  I am human and I allow things to get to me...I get angry at the Ukrainian Government, I get frustrated at the lack of humanity for these children and I feel that I have every right to be angry....my anger is against the sin that is happening against these children...against God.  So, I continue to trust and wait upon the Lord.

Seems as though, so often lately, when I am deep in thought or prayer about these children or maybe when I am posting something about them, or maybe when I am sending an email to someone about them, The Lord reminds me that He is in control and to just trust him.  Tonight I was reading something about Orphans, thinking so deeply about the kids and had just finished writing to a friend about the current status of waiting when I opened my email and found this snippet of a devotional awaiting to be opened:

A Light Burden?


Hey, you got something heavy weighing on your shoulders? Why don't you give it to God?

Matthew 11:29-30

"Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

See, God doesn't require more than his grace can cover. If you need rest, just ask for it.

So you see....just when I was finished writing about the kids and it was weighing heavy on my heart, I hear the Lord speak to me and tell me to give it to Him.

Even better than that....on Monday, I was writing something about the kids on an adoption group that I belong to.  Nothing too in depth, just something that got me thinking about them and feeling them heavy on my heart, realizing that what we have gotten into is probably too far to fetch.  Then, I open my email and find this snippet of a devotional:

Don't Give Up

  You can't give up! You might want to. It might be the easiest thing. The most tempting. The safest. But it's not worth it.

Matthew 7:7-8

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

Ask, seek, knock! Don't give up.

Well.....I can't help but feel like the Lord has been telling me this week, "Don't give up.  Ask and you will receive the desires of your heart.  However, you have to trust me and give me the burden".

Then, I am constantly hearing the song, "All of Me" from Matt Hammitt.  In this song, he talks about giving all of himself, even if it hurts.

The easiest thing for me to do would be to give up, to not love for fear of getting hurt and to just be heavy with a burden that I never turn over to the One I should trust the Most.  However, that is not what I want to do.  I will not give up.  I will continue to fight for these children and if the Lord will place them in our family, then we will love them and raise them up to know Him.  However, if He won't place them in our family, we will still love them, pray for them and do what we can to point them to Him.  Will you please pray that the Lord moves in the hearts of those that are blocking the way to adoption or close the doors, if that is not His will.

This is the first picture we ever saw of Lidiya

The devotionals that I received in my email are from www.gotandem.com. 

Adopting Ukraine Orphans: God's Plan

This is going to be a long post, I just have a feeling.  But, it is going to be so worth it because I am going to share with you something very special that has happened to us recently.  Not that we are anything special but what the Lord has done is!  If you will take a few minutes and read this, you will be completely amazed.  I only say that because 2 months later, I am still amazed.  I am in awe of what He has done for us....something we most definitely do not deserve.

For those that follow my blog, you know that we hosted a girl from the Ukraine this summer and are now on a journey to adopt her and her 2 brothers.  When presented with hosting all three this Christmas, our first reaction was "no way, we can't afford it".  However, we came to the conclusion that if it was the Lord's will for us to host all three, He would provide.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19.  

And that He did....He provided the finances for us to host all three.  However, it apparently wasn't in His will because the Ukrainian Government in the Kherson Region shut down all hosting programs.  I say all that because when it came time to consider adoption, we realized that if it is His will for us to adopt all three, He would need to provide once again.  Not only will He need to provide the $40,000 it will take to adopt all three but He would have to provide a means for us to raise three extra children.  Our monthly budget will increase significantly with three more teenagers in the house.  We really make it week to week, so the thought of that was incomprehensible.  When Danny said, "If he wants us to adopt, he will make a way", I really just shrugged the thought off because he would have had to provide in a huge way.

Well, to back up just a bit....up until I went on my mission trip, we didn't even think the kids were eligible for adoption!  I found out while I was there.  I got home from my trip on September 15th and it was around that time that we really started talking about adoption.  So, keep that date in mind...it will be significant later in my story.

For those that don't know, my husband is a General Contractor and owned a company with one of his friends.  He has done a lot of additions and has used many subcontractors for things like electrical, plumbing and roofing.  He had gotten to know all of his contractors well over the years, especially his roofing contractor, Don Scro, because they have a friend in common...Jesus Christ.  Well....in early November, Don called Danny and told Danny that he was going to be retiring.  Danny was really bummed because he was going to be losing one of his favorite contractors.  Then Don told Danny, "But, I want you to take over my company".  Danny could not believe his ears.  Don said that the Lord told him that Danny was supposed to be the one to take over the company.  Wow!  The Lord is going to trust Danny and I to run this company?  This company that has been in Raleigh for 22 years???  He is entrusting US?  I definitely am in shock, in awe and completely amazed!!  So, in my recent posts where I mention that this is a "God given company", I truly mean it is a "God given company".  It is not a company passed down from our family.  It is not a company that we "bought".  It is not a company that we started from the ground up.  It truly is a company that the Lord is entrusting us with!

So, remember I told you to remember the date....September 15th?  Well, Don and Mary (his wife) told us that on September 15th, they were driving in Colorado, talking about what to do with the company when Don mentioned, "I should call Danny".  Yes...the same day I came home from the Ukraine, after seeing Lidiya and meeting her brothers.  At the same time that we were praying about the Lord providing so that we could adopt, they were praying about what to do with their company.  Coincidence?  I say that there is no such thing.

Want to hear something even better???  Danny has been speaking truth into his non-believing business partner for years...........yes.........y-e-a-r-s!!!  He has shared the gospel, shared what Jesus means to him and just lived his life in front of him for years.  And for years this man has not been interested in giving up his life for Christ.  He has had a lot of questions but has not felt that he needed the Lord at all.  Well, after this entire thing takes place, Danny realizes that he has to tell his business partner.  So, he calls him up and shares the story.  His business partner was so in awe that God would allow us to take over this company, so shocked and surprised, that he finally laid down his life for Christ!!!  It took him a few days to process everything but he couldn't believe it!

That is the most amazing part of the this entire story.  I am so amazed at how the Lord was orchestrating this entire thing....he weaved all of these pieces together to fit into His perfect plan.  His plan.  Not ours.  His will. His children.  His followers.  We will continue to walk and allow the Lord to direct our steps.

919-461-0937

ScrosRoofingCompany.com

Why does God make us wait?

Waiting sucks.  I know, I know....it builds character.  It allows us time to trust the Lord.  It helps us to grow spiritually.  Waiting on the Lord helps build our faith.  Waiting on the Lord helps grow our patience.

Psalm 27:14 (NIV) Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

But it still sucks.  And yes, I started a sentence with the word "but".  Oh, I also started a sentence with the word "and".  I'm just being real here.  I want the Lord to build my character, grow me spiritually, build my faith and grow my patience.  I want to trust the Lord.  However, I would be lying if I said that I had it all together.  That I am completely trusting in the Lord.  That my faith is just oh so strong.  That I am being a good little girl, being so patient, waiting on the Lord.  I'd be a big fat l-i-a-r!  

However, my faith and my trust in the Lord is growing.  It is.  I am humbled every time I hear him speak to me and tell me to wait.  To just trust Him.  I am completely in awe when I feel that He is speaking directly to me.  So, I guess I'd also be a big fat liar, if I said my faith wasn't growing, that I wasn't trusting in the Lord and that I wasn't being patient.  However, it is not easy!!!  Some days I just feel like crying and crying and crying. When I think about those three children and what they were doing on December 25th, my heart breaks.  I can promise you that they were not opening gifts, singing praises to the Lord, eating a huge Turkey Dinner with all the fixins and reading the Christmas Story in the Bible.  And that makes my heart ache.  There are hundreds upon thousands of children in this world without a family to call their own.  Without a mom to give them a big hug and say, "I love you".  Without a dad to take them out for ice cream "just because".  We can't help all of them.  But we do have the heart to help.  So, we are waiting on the Lord.  Waiting to hear if all three even want to be adopted.  We know that Vlad (the 15 year old) does want a family and is ready!!!  Lidiya said she would have to think about it (not such a big surprise).  Now we are waiting to find out if Andre wants a family and if Lidiya has made her decision.  


So, thank you for your prayers and please take a moment to continue to pray for these three.  Also, please pray for us as we continue to wait.  I do not want to lose heart, lose faith and stop trusting in the Lord.  We believe that the Lord loves those children more than we ever could.  Our prayer right now is, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"  Mark 9:24

It will take an absolute Miracle

I am not saying this to be cliché or anything but it will take an absolute miracle for us to bring these children home. But then again, if it happens, we truly can and will give all the Glory to God. However, if it doesn't, then we will understand that it was not His will.

The reason it will take a miracle is that we really have everything going against us...we really one have one thing in our favor right now. One. More about that in a minute. Here are the things we have going against us and the things that our prayer warriors can pray about:

• All three kids have to say "yes" to being adopted.  This is a huge obstacle because this summer when we asked Lidiya about coming to America to go to school, her response was, "No way.  I couldn't leave my brothers and I have way too much family to leave".  Hopefully "adoption with her brothers and the chance at a permanent family" is different than leaving everyone to just come to school.  
• Then, Ukraine in itself is a challenging country to adopt from.  It is corrupt, there is bribery, the politics are just awful and so much more.  
• To top that off, the Kherson Region in Ukraine is very against adoptions right now because there have been too many American adoptions coming out of hosting programs.  So, they are investigating child trafficking.  This one just makes me sick because it is child trafficking that we are saving these children from!
• And to put icing on the cake, the orphanage director at their orphanage is in hot water because he has allowed international adoptions but not adoptions from Ukrainian families.  See....he gets more money for international adoptions, so now he is being investigated.

So, please pray that we will be able to discern the Lord's will for us and for these children.  Ultimately, they are His children, not ours and we just want what is best for them.  

Back to the one thing that we do have going for us....2 out of the 3 children were asked about adoption and Vlad (the oldest) said yes, he is ready to go!!  But they all have to say yes and Lidiya said she would have to think about it.  Andre has not been asked yet.

We are in the waiting mode right now....we are waiting on the Lord.  Waiting is the hardest part but He knows that and I believe through all of this He is trying to build my faith.  Hopefully it's working!  :)

Be still, and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

Here is a picture of Vlad and Andre playing Uno.  

You can sort of see their personalities in this picture.  

Vlad is very reserved and keeps to himself, while Andre is very giggly and goofy.  

Today I felt empty

Is "empty" even a feeling?  I know sad, angry, excited, nervous, happy, frustrated, etc. are all "feelings" but today I just felt empty.  And if that is not a "feeling", then I just made it up to be one.  So, go ahead and put it in the dictionary:

emp·ty  adjective, -ti·er, -ti·est, 

1. A feeling; expressive of or characterized by emptiness.

I am so excited for the children that did get to come for hosting and I am so excited for the families that get to enjoy those children.  I am not jealous, at least I don't think I am.  I am not angry because I have relented to the fact that God is in control.  I am not frustrated....OK, well, maybe I am a little frustrated.  Frustrated at the Ukrainian government and culture because of all their stupid (yes, I said the word stupid) bribes, corruptness, laws, etc.  However, I am just mostly feeling empty.  

Last night, the children arrived from the Ukraine.  Not Lidiya, Vlad and Andre but other children, children that don't live in Kherson.  So, I kept thinking to myself all day, "They were supposed to have gone with us to this."  "They should be sitting at the table eating dinner with us right now".  "They should be sleeping in a nice, warm bed right now and not in a cold orphanage".  

But ya know what - I haven't cried once today.  I went the entire day thinking to myself how they should be here.  I went the entire day feeling empty without them.  But it isn't until right now, as I sit here and type out my feelings that I am finally crying.  Crying over the fact that they are not here.  Crying over the fact that I miss them.  Crying because it hurts.  

I am rejoicing for the other children because I know what a precious gift they have to be here!  I am so darn excited to see one of the boys that I absolutely feel in love with when I was on my mission trip because my dear friend is hosting him.  I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees me!!!  I am also excited to see two children that my other friends are hosting.  So, I don't know how I can be excited and empty all at the same time..........but I am.

Matthew 11: 28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Here is a picture of Sergiy, 

the boy my friend is hosting that I can't wait to see!