We have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the past year and a half when we started this journey of hosting / adoption. It has not been easy but every step of the way, we feel that the Lord has grown us and strengthened our faith. Sometimes I don't like how He strengthens my faith. However, every time I come out the other end, I feel blessed that He even wants to strengthen my faith. Of course, I rarely see that as I am going through it.
This was no exception.
If you have been following our journey with Lidiya and her brothers, then you know that we had our adoption agent have the translator in their region ask them if they want to be adopted. We have been waiting on that answer since November 20th. On December 16th, we received word that Lidiya and Vlad had been asked....Vlad said "yes, he wants a family" and Lidiya said that she would have to think about it but would give her answer in a week. We finally received the answer we had been waiting so long for. On February 5th, our adoption agent notified us that the translator asked Lidiya and she said that she did not want to leave the Ukraine.
I prepared my heart for this answer because I knew that Lidiya was having a hard time wanting to leave her family. I had a feeling deep inside, even though I would not have admitted it, that her answer would be no. On February 3, I had a dear friend tell me that she would never adopt children that had any family connection because of the potential repercussions surrounding that. She also just shared from her heart about feeling that maybe we should stop pursuing these children because when children want something, they will most certainly let you know. If Lidiya had to "think about it", that is a red flag. Well....I knew all of this before she even spoke a word but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you open your eyes. So, that just helped me to come to the conclusion that these were not the children the Lord would have for us. However, I still was not about to give up, the Lord would have to close that door.
And He did.
So, for the last 3 weeks, we have been mourning and praying about what the Lord would have for us. It has taken me 3 weeks to blog because we were just not ready to put into writing what we had just lost. Danny has been greatly affected by this, his heart is broken and he has needed some time to heal.
Well, on February 20th, one of my friend's (who is in Ukraine interviewing kids for hosting) sent me an email and said that if we would consider hosting this summer, she found a great brother and sister for us. She personally interviewed them and she said that we were the first to come to her mind....her husband agreed. After praying about it, we have decided to move forward with hosting them.
Danny is very excited about these two children. Although he is still mourning over Lidiya and her brothers, he is anxiously moving forward with anticipation of having these two in our home for 5 weeks this summer. Although I did not have to mourn quite as much over the loss, I am still not totally excited yet about these kids. I think my heart and my mind go through a different process and it will take some time before I completely warm up to the idea. To be 100% honest, having another teenage girl in our home scares the heebie jeebies out of me!! I was scared to have Lidiya come and it ended up turning out OK but for some reason, I am feeling the same way again about this girl. I don't know why - I guess it goes back to that whole "I don't feel adequate" feeling. I realize that my adequacy will come from the Lord and I will eventually relent but for right now, I am just being stubborn, I suppose. However, I do not feel that our family is complete. I know with all of my being that the Lord has more children for us. I, never in a million years, would have thought that this would include older children and I most certainly never would have thought it would have included a teenage girl!!!!!! However, I know my ways are not His ways....
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
So, please follow us on this journey as we take steps of obedience in taking care of the orphans. We are not capable of doing this alone. Thank you for being there for us.
This was no exception.
If you have been following our journey with Lidiya and her brothers, then you know that we had our adoption agent have the translator in their region ask them if they want to be adopted. We have been waiting on that answer since November 20th. On December 16th, we received word that Lidiya and Vlad had been asked....Vlad said "yes, he wants a family" and Lidiya said that she would have to think about it but would give her answer in a week. We finally received the answer we had been waiting so long for. On February 5th, our adoption agent notified us that the translator asked Lidiya and she said that she did not want to leave the Ukraine.
I prepared my heart for this answer because I knew that Lidiya was having a hard time wanting to leave her family. I had a feeling deep inside, even though I would not have admitted it, that her answer would be no. On February 3, I had a dear friend tell me that she would never adopt children that had any family connection because of the potential repercussions surrounding that. She also just shared from her heart about feeling that maybe we should stop pursuing these children because when children want something, they will most certainly let you know. If Lidiya had to "think about it", that is a red flag. Well....I knew all of this before she even spoke a word but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you open your eyes. So, that just helped me to come to the conclusion that these were not the children the Lord would have for us. However, I still was not about to give up, the Lord would have to close that door.
And He did.
So, for the last 3 weeks, we have been mourning and praying about what the Lord would have for us. It has taken me 3 weeks to blog because we were just not ready to put into writing what we had just lost. Danny has been greatly affected by this, his heart is broken and he has needed some time to heal.
Well, on February 20th, one of my friend's (who is in Ukraine interviewing kids for hosting) sent me an email and said that if we would consider hosting this summer, she found a great brother and sister for us. She personally interviewed them and she said that we were the first to come to her mind....her husband agreed. After praying about it, we have decided to move forward with hosting them.
Danny is very excited about these two children. Although he is still mourning over Lidiya and her brothers, he is anxiously moving forward with anticipation of having these two in our home for 5 weeks this summer. Although I did not have to mourn quite as much over the loss, I am still not totally excited yet about these kids. I think my heart and my mind go through a different process and it will take some time before I completely warm up to the idea. To be 100% honest, having another teenage girl in our home scares the heebie jeebies out of me!! I was scared to have Lidiya come and it ended up turning out OK but for some reason, I am feeling the same way again about this girl. I don't know why - I guess it goes back to that whole "I don't feel adequate" feeling. I realize that my adequacy will come from the Lord and I will eventually relent but for right now, I am just being stubborn, I suppose. However, I do not feel that our family is complete. I know with all of my being that the Lord has more children for us. I, never in a million years, would have thought that this would include older children and I most certainly never would have thought it would have included a teenage girl!!!!!! However, I know my ways are not His ways....
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
So, please follow us on this journey as we take steps of obedience in taking care of the orphans. We are not capable of doing this alone. Thank you for being there for us.
"A" and "L"
Now you are going to see God work.....I feel it in my bones. I am so excited for the both of you! They look like really sweet kids. Although it's never a guarantee, I pray that the Lord reveals vividly the reason(s) He put you on the path you have been on for the past 1.5 years. This is going to turn out to be a great testimony. Can't wait!
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog and was sad to hear how this potential adoption turned out. I adopted a wonderful 13.5 yr. old girl from Latvia 2.5 yrs. ago (she's sweet 16 now!), and it was the best thing I ever did (I am a widow). I also tried to adopt her twin brother, who couldn't make up his mind, but has now changed it 2.5 yrs. later! We will be going to visit him in Latvia at the end of May for a week, and bring him home with us for the summer...and hopefully forever! One heartbreaking piece of info I found out through this process was that many of the kids in orphanages in Eastern Europe have living parents who have problems with alcohol/drugs, and have their children taken away from them by the State. These deadbeat parents put alot of pressure on their kids to not be adopted by Americans, because the kids get free government housing when they age out of the orphanages, and then the parents move back in with them to have a place to live. This happened to my daughter's best friend in the orphanage...a really nice couple in the US wanted to adopt her, and she wanted to be adopted by them, but her parents filled her head with scary stories about life in America and what bad things could happen to her...and that scared her so much, she eventually said no, and all lost...very, very sad. These kids just don't have a chance, and when my daughter talks to her friend still unloved and in the orphanage, you can hear the regret in her voice, and she lashes out in anger at my daughter for making the right decision.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing the right thing by trying to help this other brother and sister...they appear affectionate, and maybe these are the ones God needs you to help have a new life with you. I will be praying for you and your family, and the children you will be hosting...it will all turn out as it should, because God is in control! God's PEACE and JOY, Eloise
Yes indeed girl these are two you are to be bringing home this summer. I feel it and know it with great confidence from God when I met them. No questions. Do not pass go or collect 200 bucks. Lol! Just love on them and let God work through you all into these kiddos!
ReplyDelete