Dynamics of a Family

Wow!  I've been in my little bubble of a family of three, with one child, for 10 years now.  Let me tell you that the dynamics of a family changes drastically when you triple your child count.  Hmmm, what if you wake up tomorrow with 6 kids? 9 kids? 12 kids?  What would that look like for your family?  OK, some of my friends already have 6, 9 or 12 kids but for some of us, that would be a really big deal!  For our family, much has changed.  We go through almost an entire jug of orange juice in one sitting.  We run the dishwasher daily.  We go through almost a dozen eggs at breakfast.  We buy more than one watermelon at a time (see the last picture).  Brushing teeth takes 3 times as long.  Showers seem never ending.  And other things changed that I just can't explain in writing.  Things such as trying to be fair (which is especially hard when we don't speak Russian), spreading our love equally, making sure everyone gets our attention, determining "who started it" etc.  Before, there were no worries about determining "who started it" because there was only one "who" that could have started it! 

We hosted last summer (twice) and this time around, it is different as night and day.  However, a lot within those two hostings prepared us for this hosting.  As much as we were heartbroken when Lidiya, Andriy and Vlad did not want to be adopted, I sort of feel like maybe, just maybe, God kinda knew what He was doing.  Gotta love when that happens!  When I am with these kids, I just feel...............complete.  They had me at "privet"!!  I honestly can't say I felt that way before.  I don't know what it is, I just know that it is different.

From the minute they got off the plane, I felt it.  They practically ran into our arms.  Alex held me so tight and did not want to let go.  They had tears in their eyes and it was such a special moment.  Even the chaperone had tears in her eyes!!  They fit into our family.  It feels natural.  Lilya has a cute personality and likes to tease and play around.  Today, we ran errands together and at the post office, she took my keys without me seeing and put them in her pocket.  When we got out to the truck, I searched frantically for them...in my purse, in my pocket, everywhere...I even start to head back into the post office to search.  She starts cracking up and pulls the keys out of her pocket and says, "Haha Mama"!!  Too funny!!!  Oh and yep, they call me "mama"!  And I love it!

Alex just melts my heart when he wakes up in the morning and says "dobroe utro" (good morning) and gives me a big hug...one where he wraps his arms all the way around me!!

I've gotten more hugs and kisses from them in the 4 days that they've been here than I got in the entire 5 weeks last summer.  They show an ability to bond.  They freely give hugs and kisses.  They are very thankful for everything they are given.  They have emotions and aren't afraid to show them.  The other day Alex was "joking" and told Coby he was fat.  When papa told him that wasn't nice, he said that he was only joking but papa told him that wasn't a funny joke.  When we got home, he went in his room and cried uncontrollably.  We called someone to help us ask him what was wrong. He said that he was sorry for saying that to Coby and that he really was a good boy. He felt really bad for what he said and this just gave us an opportunity to show grace and forgiveness!!


Colossians 3:12-13  Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 
 
I know it has only been 4 days but holy toledo (am I "allowed" to say that as a Christian?  I always wondered!!), I am in hog heaven!!!  I have a fire under my tail to get moving on this adoption because I want to go back and get them.......like......yesterday!!!!!  Tonight I asked Lilya if she liked living in the orphanage and she said, "No, who likes living there?"  I want to get them out of that place!!!  It is dark.  It is dismal.  I've been told it is one of the worst orphanages in Ukraine.  Will you please help by praying that the Lord will move in mighty ways for us to get them?  We need Him to move in the process so that it moves fast!  We need Him to provide financially....the cost is approximately $32,250 and we have a total of $1,200 available to go towards their adoption.  $1,200.  One thousand, two hundred (just in case you thought maybe I was missing a zero or put the comma in the wrong place).  We have a long ways to go but we know that the Will of God does not take you where Grace of God does not cover you.   

2 Corinthians 9:8:  And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

We truly believe that this is His will for our lives and we will go....we just need your help and most importantly, your prayers!

Here are some pictures of the kids since they have been here....

 At the airport....very special moment I will never forget!

Lilya and Papa!

Showing off their green tongues after eating snowballs

Lilya and Mama standing in front of a bunch of Lilies!!

Silly boys!!

She loves our dog!!!!

Hmmmm.....wonder who taught him this??

One watermelon would not be enough so we had to get two!

And the story continues....

We have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the past year and a half when we started this journey of hosting / adoption.  It has not been easy but every step of the way, we feel that the Lord has grown us and strengthened our faith.  Sometimes I don't like how He strengthens my faith.  However, every time I come out the other end, I feel blessed that He even wants to strengthen my faith.  Of course, I rarely see that as I am going through it.

This was no exception.

If you have been following our journey with Lidiya and her brothers, then you know that we had our adoption agent have the translator in their region ask them if they want to be adopted.  We have been waiting on that answer since November 20th.  On December 16th, we received word that Lidiya and Vlad had been asked....Vlad said "yes, he wants a family" and Lidiya said that she would have to think about it but would give her answer in a week. We finally received the answer we had been waiting so long for.  On February 5th, our adoption agent notified us that the translator asked Lidiya and she said that she did not want to leave the Ukraine.

I prepared my heart for this answer because I knew that Lidiya was having a hard time wanting to leave her family.  I had a feeling deep inside, even though I would not have admitted it, that her answer would be no.  On February 3, I had a dear friend tell me that  she would never adopt children that had any family connection because of the potential repercussions surrounding that.  She also just shared from her heart about feeling that maybe we should stop pursuing these children because when children want something, they will most certainly let you know.  If Lidiya had to "think about it", that is a red flag.  Well....I knew all of this before she even spoke a word but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you open your eyes.  So, that just helped me to come to the conclusion that these were not the children the Lord would have for us.  However, I still was not about to give up, the Lord would have to close that door.

And He did.

So, for the last 3 weeks, we have been mourning and praying about what the Lord would have for us.  It has taken me 3 weeks to blog because we were just not ready to put into writing what we had just lost.  Danny has been greatly affected by this, his heart is broken and he has needed some time to heal.

Well, on February 20th, one of my friend's (who is in Ukraine interviewing kids for hosting) sent me an email and said that if we would consider hosting this summer, she found a great brother and sister for us.  She personally interviewed them and she said that we were the first to come to her mind....her husband agreed.  After praying about it, we have decided to move forward with hosting them.

Danny is very excited about these two children.  Although he is still mourning over Lidiya and her brothers, he is anxiously moving forward with anticipation of having these two in our home for 5 weeks this summer.  Although I did not have to mourn quite as much over the loss, I am still not totally excited yet about these kids.  I think my heart and my mind go through a different process and it will take some time before I completely warm up to the idea.  To be 100% honest, having another teenage girl in our home scares the heebie jeebies out of me!!  I was scared to have Lidiya come and it ended up turning out OK but for some reason, I am feeling the same way again about this girl.  I don't know why - I guess it goes back to that whole "I don't feel adequate" feeling.  I realize that my adequacy will come from the Lord and I will eventually relent but for right now, I am just being stubborn, I suppose.  However, I do not feel that our family is complete.  I know with all of my being that the Lord has more children for us.  I, never in a million years, would have thought that this would include older children and I most certainly never would have thought it would have included a teenage girl!!!!!!  However, I know my ways are not His ways....

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  Isaiah 55:8

So, please follow us on this journey as we take steps of obedience in taking care of the orphans.  We are not capable of doing this alone.  Thank you for being there for us.

"A" and "L"

Adopting Orphans...Waiting Upon The Lord

My heart is heavy, my patience is being tested daily, my will is being worn thin but I am constantly reminded the God is in control.  Seems contradictory, I know.  Yet, it isn't.  I am human and I allow things to get to me...I get angry at the Ukrainian Government, I get frustrated at the lack of humanity for these children and I feel that I have every right to be angry....my anger is against the sin that is happening against these children...against God.  So, I continue to trust and wait upon the Lord.

Seems as though, so often lately, when I am deep in thought or prayer about these children or maybe when I am posting something about them, or maybe when I am sending an email to someone about them, The Lord reminds me that He is in control and to just trust him.  Tonight I was reading something about Orphans, thinking so deeply about the kids and had just finished writing to a friend about the current status of waiting when I opened my email and found this snippet of a devotional awaiting to be opened:

A Light Burden?


Hey, you got something heavy weighing on your shoulders? Why don't you give it to God?

Matthew 11:29-30

"Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

See, God doesn't require more than his grace can cover. If you need rest, just ask for it.

So you see....just when I was finished writing about the kids and it was weighing heavy on my heart, I hear the Lord speak to me and tell me to give it to Him.

Even better than that....on Monday, I was writing something about the kids on an adoption group that I belong to.  Nothing too in depth, just something that got me thinking about them and feeling them heavy on my heart, realizing that what we have gotten into is probably too far to fetch.  Then, I open my email and find this snippet of a devotional:

Don't Give Up

  You can't give up! You might want to. It might be the easiest thing. The most tempting. The safest. But it's not worth it.

Matthew 7:7-8

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

Ask, seek, knock! Don't give up.

Well.....I can't help but feel like the Lord has been telling me this week, "Don't give up.  Ask and you will receive the desires of your heart.  However, you have to trust me and give me the burden".

Then, I am constantly hearing the song, "All of Me" from Matt Hammitt.  In this song, he talks about giving all of himself, even if it hurts.

The easiest thing for me to do would be to give up, to not love for fear of getting hurt and to just be heavy with a burden that I never turn over to the One I should trust the Most.  However, that is not what I want to do.  I will not give up.  I will continue to fight for these children and if the Lord will place them in our family, then we will love them and raise them up to know Him.  However, if He won't place them in our family, we will still love them, pray for them and do what we can to point them to Him.  Will you please pray that the Lord moves in the hearts of those that are blocking the way to adoption or close the doors, if that is not His will.

This is the first picture we ever saw of Lidiya

The devotionals that I received in my email are from www.gotandem.com.