If you ever considered adopting, here is a site where this lady posts children that need families. She is not an adoption agency or a facilitator - she just loves the children and wants them to find families!
Check it out. http://advocateforwaitingchildren.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A load of emotions!
So, we have this little guy that the Lord brought into our home and there have been a bunch of emotions that have been running through me over the past week. We went from one child/personality/behaviors/attitudes to a different child/personality/behaviors/attitudes in just 5 short days. And both of them are completely different than the child/personality/behaviors/attitudes of the one that I birthed 10 years ago.
When he came to us on Friday, he played so well with Coby!!! They played legos, army, nerf wars, trampoline and who knows what else....Coby's room looked like a tornado went through it! I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and he ate everything and even had seconds! It was funny watching him eat the spaghetti because he ate the meat sauce and then ate the spaghetti noodles. Then came bedtime. Oh boy.........that was so hard. I felt so bad for him and just did not know what to do. He literally cried, sobbing uncontrollably for 2 hours!!! I called a translator and he told the translator that he did not want to be here but he wanted to go back with the other family that had him before us. Awww...poor little guy. He eventually cried himself to sleep.
Day two, we took him and Coby to Monkey Joe's and that was a hit! He LOVED it! That kid has more energy that anyone I have ever met! He went and went and went and went and went for about two hours and then came home and went some more!! We had a good day and then came bedtime. He did not cry as much this time (just a little) but he kept getting up and out of bed. I would put him back and say пребывание which means "stay" and is pronounced "prebyvanie". We did that for about two hours. Then, I finally called the translator and his teacher was there, so she spoke with him. After that, he stayed in his bed and was asleep within 15 minutes.
We explained to his teacher that after we spoke with her, he was asleep within 15 minutes and she said, "Oh good...call me every night before bed". Since we have been calling her before bed, he stays in bed and is usually asleep within 30 minutes.
He has a lack of emotional control, especially when he just doesn't know how to express his dislike, other than to cry or throw a fit and mostly just not to look at you. But that is to be expected with everything he has been through during this trip and the fact that he speaks no English at all other than to say "thank you" and what his name is. Oh, he can also count to about 7 in English. He only knows about half of his alphabet, so he can't type anything to us. He gets really upset when he feels something is being taken away from him and crys, pouts and uses body language to display his dissatisfaction. But when being disciplined, he stays when told to stay (time-out), even though he isn't happy about it. Isn't that half the battle? Other than those things, he has the potential to be a great kid! I think that if he joined a family that has boundaries and doesn't bend or break but showers him with love in addition to discipline, he will flourish!! This is my opinion. :)
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…" Psalm 68:5-6 (NLT)
When he came to us on Friday, he played so well with Coby!!! They played legos, army, nerf wars, trampoline and who knows what else....Coby's room looked like a tornado went through it! I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and he ate everything and even had seconds! It was funny watching him eat the spaghetti because he ate the meat sauce and then ate the spaghetti noodles. Then came bedtime. Oh boy.........that was so hard. I felt so bad for him and just did not know what to do. He literally cried, sobbing uncontrollably for 2 hours!!! I called a translator and he told the translator that he did not want to be here but he wanted to go back with the other family that had him before us. Awww...poor little guy. He eventually cried himself to sleep.
Day two, we took him and Coby to Monkey Joe's and that was a hit! He LOVED it! That kid has more energy that anyone I have ever met! He went and went and went and went and went for about two hours and then came home and went some more!! We had a good day and then came bedtime. He did not cry as much this time (just a little) but he kept getting up and out of bed. I would put him back and say пребывание which means "stay" and is pronounced "prebyvanie". We did that for about two hours. Then, I finally called the translator and his teacher was there, so she spoke with him. After that, he stayed in his bed and was asleep within 15 minutes.
We explained to his teacher that after we spoke with her, he was asleep within 15 minutes and she said, "Oh good...call me every night before bed". Since we have been calling her before bed, he stays in bed and is usually asleep within 30 minutes.
He has a lack of emotional control, especially when he just doesn't know how to express his dislike, other than to cry or throw a fit and mostly just not to look at you. But that is to be expected with everything he has been through during this trip and the fact that he speaks no English at all other than to say "thank you" and what his name is. Oh, he can also count to about 7 in English. He only knows about half of his alphabet, so he can't type anything to us. He gets really upset when he feels something is being taken away from him and crys, pouts and uses body language to display his dissatisfaction. But when being disciplined, he stays when told to stay (time-out), even though he isn't happy about it. Isn't that half the battle? Other than those things, he has the potential to be a great kid! I think that if he joined a family that has boundaries and doesn't bend or break but showers him with love in addition to discipline, he will flourish!! This is my opinion. :)
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…" Psalm 68:5-6 (NLT)
He didn't like Ozzie at first but now he loves him!
I thought this was a cute picture of his face~
He does great doing flips on the trampoline and into the pool~
They loved having nerf wars~
Friday, August 05, 2011
Our new normal?!?
God sure does know how to stretch us just when we feel that we were stretched to our capacity. That is the perfect way to put it - thanks to a friend for the analogy. Not to mention, my heart is just starting to mend over Lidiya leaving on Monday. I hadn't even washed her sheets yet!
We were starting to get back into our "normal". Coby started football practice on Monday, he started school on Wednesday, I've been making his lunch every night, getting his bags packed in the morning, driving to school, picking him up and cleaning houses during the day. Our normal. My normal. But God has a different normal for us. At least a different temporary normal. I'm starting to realize - it isn't all about me. Gee - how long did it take for me to figure that one out? Haha!
While I was working today, I received a phone call from a dear friend. She said that she has a friend in who is the director of another hosting organization who has an 8 year old in need of a family for the next 9 days. He is here with his 2 siblings but they are not getting along at all and he is not a good fit for this family. So, they need to separate him. She asked if we would be willing to take him. Of course we would!
So, the director of that hosting organization brought him by around 4:00 this afternoon. I spoke with her briefly and she said that he has 8 siblings all together in the orphanage and three of them are here on this hosting....a 9 year old brother and an 11 year old sister. She said that the family was having a real rough time with him but she wasn't sure exactly what the issue was. She said that it seemed as though he did not have a structured environment, did not have proper guidance and was overstimulated (mostly with electronics). We are definitely not the shining example of a structured environment, guidance and less stimulation (we only have 3 TVs, a portable TV, a PSP, Nintendo DS, PS2 and a Wii...wow just typing that out puts a knot in my stomach)! But the Lord has entrusted us with this little boy and we are sure going to try our best to provide him some structure, guidance and most of all....love.
He has been here now for 4 hours and so far, all is good. That doesn't necessarily mean anything because I am sure he is feeling things out. However, I know the Lord will give me the strength to handle whatever comes up. He does not speak much English, at all and is very, very slow at reading Google Translate. So, this will be an interesting 9 days....probably a lot of charades! Him and Coby are playing really good right now though....I think he is wearing Coby out! He is a ball of energy!
He does have a cold and is very congested, so the other family took him to the doctor and they gave him amoxicillin. Yikes! Not the choice I would have made. I have been blowing his nose for him and so much gunk is coming out. Poor little guy.
Well...I had some time to write but now I need to get going. Again - thanks for listening! I am humbled to say the least.
The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11.
We were starting to get back into our "normal". Coby started football practice on Monday, he started school on Wednesday, I've been making his lunch every night, getting his bags packed in the morning, driving to school, picking him up and cleaning houses during the day. Our normal. My normal. But God has a different normal for us. At least a different temporary normal. I'm starting to realize - it isn't all about me. Gee - how long did it take for me to figure that one out? Haha!
While I was working today, I received a phone call from a dear friend. She said that she has a friend in who is the director of another hosting organization who has an 8 year old in need of a family for the next 9 days. He is here with his 2 siblings but they are not getting along at all and he is not a good fit for this family. So, they need to separate him. She asked if we would be willing to take him. Of course we would!
So, the director of that hosting organization brought him by around 4:00 this afternoon. I spoke with her briefly and she said that he has 8 siblings all together in the orphanage and three of them are here on this hosting....a 9 year old brother and an 11 year old sister. She said that the family was having a real rough time with him but she wasn't sure exactly what the issue was. She said that it seemed as though he did not have a structured environment, did not have proper guidance and was overstimulated (mostly with electronics). We are definitely not the shining example of a structured environment, guidance and less stimulation (we only have 3 TVs, a portable TV, a PSP, Nintendo DS, PS2 and a Wii...wow just typing that out puts a knot in my stomach)! But the Lord has entrusted us with this little boy and we are sure going to try our best to provide him some structure, guidance and most of all....love.
He has been here now for 4 hours and so far, all is good. That doesn't necessarily mean anything because I am sure he is feeling things out. However, I know the Lord will give me the strength to handle whatever comes up. He does not speak much English, at all and is very, very slow at reading Google Translate. So, this will be an interesting 9 days....probably a lot of charades! Him and Coby are playing really good right now though....I think he is wearing Coby out! He is a ball of energy!
He does have a cold and is very congested, so the other family took him to the doctor and they gave him amoxicillin. Yikes! Not the choice I would have made. I have been blowing his nose for him and so much gunk is coming out. Poor little guy.
Well...I had some time to write but now I need to get going. Again - thanks for listening! I am humbled to say the least.
The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11.
Monday, August 01, 2011
Final days, sad goodbyes, letting go and Trusting the Lord
Let me first start out by being very transparent. The first week or so of Lidiya's 5 week visit was awesome. The middle two and a half weeks were...........well, I don't really know of a good way to put it but they were horrible! A lot of rebellion, attitude, direct disobedience, arguing, flat out ignoring us and so on. The last week and a half was "better". Still attitude, some rebellion and direct disobedience and quite a bit of arguing. The last 2 or 3 days were really good....still not as good as the first week but she was really comfortable with us at this point, so I didn't expect things to be as good as the first week. From weeks 2-4, I honestly did not think that there would be any tears when we took her back to the airport! Danny and I both said that we were actually ready to take her back - although we did still have a couple of weeks left at this point! Danny even made a comment, "I am just praying that the Lord will change things and allow us to take her back and actually miss her. I don't want to take her back and be glad she is going back." Well, the Lord answered his prayer.
As tough as it was in the middle of her visit, we are really feeling the pain of her being gone. As a matter of fact, as I sit here writing this, tears are welling up in my eyes. It is so hard for me to describe my feelings but I am going to do my best. I do miss Lidiya. I do miss having Lidiya around. However, even more than that, I fear for the unknown for Lidiya. She isn't eligible for adoption and she might not even be able to come back to America again, so it is so hard to know what will happen to her once she "ages out". Chances are, she can stay past the "normal age out" age of 16 because she has a younger brother in the same orphanage but she is already 13, so she still doesn't have a lot of time left. Five years max....maybe less. Orphans in those countries have a stigma associated with them and pimps prey upon young orphans that are just getting out of the boarding schools. They use whatever they can to lure these young girls into a horrific life. Just watch this video to get a glimpse of what the majority of orphan girls get lured into. It is very sad. So, my heart hurts for her. She just has no idea what it is like on the "other side". She thinks she gets free college, a place to stay and will make money. Oh boy, does she have it all wrong.
When we dropped her off at the airport, had to let her go and just watch her walk away, all I could say is, "Lord, she is yours. Take care of her". There is a lot of truth to the old saying, "Love 'em and let 'em go". That's what we did. We loved her like we couldn't have loved her any more and then we let her go and watched her walk away. My heart is somewhere in the air halfway between JFK and Munich, Germany and around 9:15 tomorrow morning (our time), it will be in Kiev.
During her visit, she had a huge wall that really never got broken down. Maybe a little but not much. I would say it is somewhere around 7ft tall and 12 inches thick! She is tough as nails. Very little emotion and when you show emotion, she gets mad! One night I was crying because she told me what happened to her mom and she ran out of the room and refused to come back in until I stopped crying. Also, I must have told her "I love you" 40-50 times while she was here and not once did she ever say it back. She did not give out many hugs, she did not 'cuddle' on the couch, she did not hold our hands (unless we initiated because we were in a public place), she did not say I love you, she did not say anything emotional, etc. I would not say that she didn't "attach" because she definitely did and you could tell that she has the potential to love but she has a wall built up so high it will take a long time to break it down.
However, yesterday we stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge, thanks to a fabulous discount that GWL offered New Horizon's For Children! We only paid $125 for a $405 room. Anyhow, the entire time we were at the water park, Lidiya never once let go of my hand!! And if I happened to let go, as soon as we would start to move again, she would grab my hand again! Then, today at the airport, she hugged me like she was making up for 5 weeks of not hugging me! Part of her wall came down as she cried - not too much - but just a bit. However, her holding on to me the way she did was enough to turn me to complete mush! That was the most emotion I saw come out of that girl the entire time she was here. But I am thankful for that because although it caused me to cry even more, it is good to feel this way!
I've learned a lot in the last 5 weeks. More than I ever thought I would learn. I have had many emotions over the last 5 weeks. More than I have had in the last 5 years! Some good, some no so good but all a part of my Lord's great plan. I know He loves Lidiya more than I ever could, so I just have to trust Him.
Thank you for following my journey. It is so encouraging to hear people are reading my blog. I am so humbled. I never realized so many people read it and when someone tells me, "Oh, I have been following your blog" and then shares something they read, I am just amazed. I am not much of a writer - I just write what is on my heart. So thank you for reading.
Blessings,
April
As tough as it was in the middle of her visit, we are really feeling the pain of her being gone. As a matter of fact, as I sit here writing this, tears are welling up in my eyes. It is so hard for me to describe my feelings but I am going to do my best. I do miss Lidiya. I do miss having Lidiya around. However, even more than that, I fear for the unknown for Lidiya. She isn't eligible for adoption and she might not even be able to come back to America again, so it is so hard to know what will happen to her once she "ages out". Chances are, she can stay past the "normal age out" age of 16 because she has a younger brother in the same orphanage but she is already 13, so she still doesn't have a lot of time left. Five years max....maybe less. Orphans in those countries have a stigma associated with them and pimps prey upon young orphans that are just getting out of the boarding schools. They use whatever they can to lure these young girls into a horrific life. Just watch this video to get a glimpse of what the majority of orphan girls get lured into. It is very sad. So, my heart hurts for her. She just has no idea what it is like on the "other side". She thinks she gets free college, a place to stay and will make money. Oh boy, does she have it all wrong.
When we dropped her off at the airport, had to let her go and just watch her walk away, all I could say is, "Lord, she is yours. Take care of her". There is a lot of truth to the old saying, "Love 'em and let 'em go". That's what we did. We loved her like we couldn't have loved her any more and then we let her go and watched her walk away. My heart is somewhere in the air halfway between JFK and Munich, Germany and around 9:15 tomorrow morning (our time), it will be in Kiev.
During her visit, she had a huge wall that really never got broken down. Maybe a little but not much. I would say it is somewhere around 7ft tall and 12 inches thick! She is tough as nails. Very little emotion and when you show emotion, she gets mad! One night I was crying because she told me what happened to her mom and she ran out of the room and refused to come back in until I stopped crying. Also, I must have told her "I love you" 40-50 times while she was here and not once did she ever say it back. She did not give out many hugs, she did not 'cuddle' on the couch, she did not hold our hands (unless we initiated because we were in a public place), she did not say I love you, she did not say anything emotional, etc. I would not say that she didn't "attach" because she definitely did and you could tell that she has the potential to love but she has a wall built up so high it will take a long time to break it down.
However, yesterday we stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge, thanks to a fabulous discount that GWL offered New Horizon's For Children! We only paid $125 for a $405 room. Anyhow, the entire time we were at the water park, Lidiya never once let go of my hand!! And if I happened to let go, as soon as we would start to move again, she would grab my hand again! Then, today at the airport, she hugged me like she was making up for 5 weeks of not hugging me! Part of her wall came down as she cried - not too much - but just a bit. However, her holding on to me the way she did was enough to turn me to complete mush! That was the most emotion I saw come out of that girl the entire time she was here. But I am thankful for that because although it caused me to cry even more, it is good to feel this way!
I've learned a lot in the last 5 weeks. More than I ever thought I would learn. I have had many emotions over the last 5 weeks. More than I have had in the last 5 years! Some good, some no so good but all a part of my Lord's great plan. I know He loves Lidiya more than I ever could, so I just have to trust Him.
Thank you for following my journey. It is so encouraging to hear people are reading my blog. I am so humbled. I never realized so many people read it and when someone tells me, "Oh, I have been following your blog" and then shares something they read, I am just amazed. I am not much of a writer - I just write what is on my heart. So thank you for reading.
Blessings,
April
Lidiya laying in the 3rd row, reading a book on the way to Charlotte.
She brought a blanket because she is "always" cold!
Coby and Lidiya standing in the lobby of GWL
Lidiya standing in front of GWL
Lidiya and I sitting on a rock with a view of the hotel rooms in the background
Walking from the car to the elevator at the airport
She tried to force a smile...by this point, she was showing a little sadness
because she was not ready to leave. She does; however, miss her brothers!
Holding on to Lidiya, saying goodbye and telling her
"I love you" in hopes that she will never forget it!
Danny was very emotional, as well!!
He did not think that he gave that much of his heart away!
You can see in this picture how sad Lidiya really is!
Coby didn't have too much emotion. He just kept trying to comfort me!
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