"I don't trust God"

Last night before dinner, we sat down and shared the news with Coby.  At first, I thought he was going to take it well and I was very surprised.  Danny told him that we needed to talk to him and started out by telling him that sometimes when God answers prayer, the answer is "no".  Coby responded and said, "We aren't getting Sasha, are we?"  Danny said, "No buddy, we aren't".  Then Coby just kinda shrugged his shoulders, as if to say, "that's ok" and followed with "But we are still getting him for 5 weeks, right?"  When Danny told him that we were not even getting him for 5 weeks, a light bulb went off in Coby and he just about freaked out. 

He cried and wanted to run up to his bedroom and just scream (his way of coping with things....we are still working on this with him).  We had him stay downstairs so that we could talk it out and pray about it.  He said that he did not want to pray about it.  As a matter of fact, he did not want to ever pray again.  He was angry with God and could never trust God again. 

Wow!!!  Talk about feeling your heartbreak.  He decided in a matter of 2 minutes that God wasn't worth trusting.  If God took his brother away from him, then what kind of God can he be?  This is coming from my son: the prayer warrior, the one with faith that could move mountains, the one who wanted a "Jesus" Birthday party so he could share the gospel with his friends that might not know the Lord.  If anyone has really gotten to know Coby, you know that he is very mature in his faith for a 9 year old.  He preaches the gospel to a little boy that lives across the street because his parents are atheists.  He wants to make sure this little boy has a chance to choose God.  So, he reads his Bible to him, invites him to many church events and talks about God as much as he can.  As a matter of fact, I told him one day that maybe we should lay low and not talk about God for a while (because his mom was starting to be a little concerned) and Coby's response was "No Way!!  I can't do it, Mom!!"  And the look on his face was as if I had just asked him to commit some huge sin.  I said, "Even if that means that you can't be friends with that little boy anymore if you keep talking to him about God?"  And he said, "Yes, even if it means that I can't be friends with him!  I will not stop talking to him about God!"    Coby is a very tender hearted little boy and wants nothing more than to see everyone come to know Christ.  So, to hear him say that he can't trust God anymore and refuse to pray completely broke my heart!!! 

We explained to Coby that God is still in control and we feel that the Lord is still working.  We shared the story of Job with Coby and explained that God allowed Satan to take things from Job because God knew Job would still be faithful.  And we must remain faithful.  It sure is easy to trust God when things are going our way but it's how we react when things aren't going our way that is a true test of our faith.  I also explained that through this entire process, God softened Daddy's heart for adoption.  I told him that Daddy always spoke with his mouth that he would be up for adoption but that in his heart, he knew that he really wasn't.  He had always said, "How can I love another child as much as I love Coby, especially not my own?"  And then he fell in love with Sasha before he even met him and said, "Now I know how". Explaining that to Coby was tough because I wasn't sure he would really understand.  But after talking to him for hours, praying for him and sharing our hearts with him, he finally understood that God isn't against him.  God has another plan. 

So, even if God is telling us, "Yes....but not Sasha", we still feel that the Lord is leading us to adopt.  We are open to whatever the Lord has to show us.  Please continue to pray for us as we continue on this journey.